An Introduction

I like to see myself as a runner. I have running shoes, I have a sleek ipod holder and that NIKE/ipod running thing to track my distance. I imagine myself running, feeling free and light and healthy. I see myself smiling and enjoying my alone time while running. Sometimes I even imagine a light mist on my face while running in the early mornings. But I don’t run. I mean I have run before, but I have a once per month running habit – and maybe only every other month.

I also like to see myself as a very polite person who appreciates manners – but I have a long list of thank-you notes that are months past due and my fork accidentally hits my teeth when I eat.

I see myself as organized, productive, clean, an avid reader, a lover of learning new things, and a baker. I see myself as someone who laughs a lot and lives life. But I’m starting to realize that I don’t run, my wedding thank you’s are a year overdue, I read only two books per year, my den is a giant junk drawer, my dissertation is a year late, and there are often dishes piled in the sink. I do laugh a lot – but am I really able to live a full life when I feel guilty all of the time? Guilty for things as small as the dishes in the sink to things as large as disappointing my advisor for being so slow to write my dissertation. I’d love to try new things, and I think I would, if I weren’t so busy feeling guilty for the old things I haven’t finished (painting the dining room, scanning in old photos, and did I mention my unfinished dissertation?).

And so I am making a list of the habits I want to add or subtract from my life – and I am going to decide once and for all if I’m going to adopt these new habits. Each habit I will try for one week. If I like it, if having that habit makes me happy, then I'll keep it. But if I do something every day for a week, and it adds more stress to my life than happiness, I'm dropping it - and I'm dropping the guilt.